Who knows how to assemble this shit!

Fuck.

Enjoy crowds?  Like standing in line?  A fan of watching fat people pound down cheeseburg0rz all day?  

Have I got the vacation idea for YOU!  Get yourself off to Dizney Whoreld !!!!   Ah yes, no worries of ever feeling lonely down there, you are always within earshot of at least 1000 morons and screaming children. Walking is ordinarily a simple task, but when the knuckledraggers pushing their bawling snot dispensors in rented strollers get confused, they just meander in the most assinine pattern, complete with hanging jaw and drool on the shirt. Line not moving fast enough?  Just RAM the poor fucker ahead of you with the brat-mobile.  Nothing like the smell of a 450 lb fat bastard in the sun.  Stunning.  What's that you say, gravity is discriminating you just because you are allergic to walking?  Well there are all kinds of companies that will rent you an electric scooter!  It's cool, because at a certain weight it looks like the scooter has been shoved up their ass, rather than the appearance of riding the scooter.  Have a hard time waking up in the morning?  The sound of a screaming little bastard running near your room will do the trick.  If you are interested in fine dining, you are in LUCK!  Visit the World Showcase!  Mexican food that tastes like crap, Chinese food that sounds like crap, Japanese food that looks like crap, and French food that IS CRAP!  Points for consistency.

Important points: Cinderalla has a nice ass, Ariel has the best tits, but no sign of a snatch. 

In summary, Minnie Mouse can suck my cock. I heard she's fucking goofy, cheating whore.

• 8:00 - Wake up to hugs and kisses; cuddling with partner who tells me how beautiful I am
• 8:30 - Weigh in 5 lbs lighter than yesterday
• 8:45 - Breakfast in bed - freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh fruit and croissants
• 9:00 - Open presents - expensive jewellery chosen by thoughtful partner
• 9:15 - Hot shower with lavender scented exfoliating body scrub
• 10:00 - Light work-out at club with sexy, funny personal trainer
• 10:30 - Important appointments - Facial, manicure, makeup application, shampoo, condition, blow wave
• 12:00 - Lunch with best friend at fashionable outdoor cafe
• 12:45 - Catch sight of partner's ex-girlfriend and notice she's gained 25 lbs
• 1:00 - Shopping with friends
• 4:00 - Three dozen roses delivered by florist; card is from secret admirer
• 4:15 - Massage from strong but gentle hunk - says he's rarely gets to work on such a perfect body
• 5:30 - Choose outfit from expensive designer wardrobe
• 7:30 - Candlelit dinner for two followed by dancing
• 10:00 - Soothing hot bath with frangipani bath oil
• 10:50 - Carried to bed - freshly ironed, crisp, white linen
• 11:00 - Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling
• 11:15 - Fall asleep in his big, strong arms

• 6:00 - Alarm
• 6:15 - Blowjob
• 6:45 - Massive, Satisfying shit
• 7:00 - Shower, wash balls and asshole
• 7:20 - Breakfast - steak and eggs, coffee and toast all cooked by naked buxom blonde who bends over a lot
• 7:45 - Limo arrives - several beers en route to the airport
• 9:15 - Flight in personal lear jet
• 9:30 - Limo to Mirage Resort Golf Club (Blowjob en-route)
• 9:45 - Play Front Nine (2 under par)
• 11:45 - Lunch - steak and lobster, 3 beers and a bottle of Dom Perignon
• 12:15 - Blowjob
• 12:30 - Play Back Nine (4 under par)
• 2:15 - Limo back to airport (several fine bourbons and a blowjob)
• 2:30 - Fly to Bahamas
• 3:30 - Late afternoon fishing expedition with all-female crew, nude who also bend over a lot
• 4:30 - Land word record Marlin (1234lbs) on light tackle
• 5:00 - Fly home, massage and hand job by naked Elle MacPherson (bending over, naturally)
• 6:00 - Watch news - Michael Jackson assassinated
• 6:45 - Shit, shower and shave
• 7:00 - Dinner - lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1953), big juicy fillet steak follwed by ice cream served on a big pair of tits
• 8:00 - Napoleon Brandy and Habanos cigars in front of wall-sized TV as you watch hockey game
• 9:30 - Sex with three women, all with lesbian tendencies
• 11:00 - Massage and Jacuzzi with tasty pizza and wing snacks and a cleansing beer
• 11:30 - Night-cap blow job
• 11:45 - In bed alone
• 11:50 - A 30 second fart which changes note 4 times and forces the dog to leave the room
• 11:51 - Laugh yourself to sleep

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