BHON Archives

Well! Luckily my super-duper high-tech employer has all these ultra-techno-whizzy-propeller-fucking-head-fag-fucking-shit software tools to make my job easy! SO FUCKING EASY AN APE COULD DO IT! GO FUCK YOURSELVES! Fuck. Ok, So I VPN into the usual connection point on PC #2 for all my usual stuff, then in order to access my AS2 communications server, I need a different fucking VPN package! JOY OUT THE ASS! It collides big time with the first one, so I commandeer my son's computer, PC3, to VPN in occasionally to said AS2 server. Pain in the ass, yes, but I can live with it. Oh whats that you say? I need to exchange certificates with that large W-named retailer you say? Fuck me ambush style.

Here's where it gets fun. I need to use a web-browser (non firefox thanks Wally I hope you are rotting in hell) to get to the customers site, but it's all blocked due to the techno-small-cocked-chinese-fags fucking ultra-secure-meanies-go-away setup, so there goes using my Linux PC1, which is my primary B.V.D. (Breast Viewing Device) Introducing PC4 !!! Run downstairs to do the customer side certificate, and they want the vendor one. Run upstairs to PC, generate a certificate, send to gmail, rund downstairs to PC4. Upload certs, run up to PC3, load certs, run to PC2, send a test document. FUCKING SHIT! Shit's failing all over due to fucked up certificates. Meanwhile el-doucho-goyo is just a CRANKING out the failed documents, because its easier to click resend than to fix them, but that's another episode. So now comms are not going with W retailer. Great, I haven't been on monster.com in a while, just might need to later today!

Redo the entire process, basically wearing out the carpet running from computer to computer, cursing like a Wellander who's bicycle has been stole. And it's finally working. *PHEW*. Pass the testing process, set certificates to permanent.

Then I decided to go to Best-Buy, where it's always fun. Picked up my Sony Blu-Ray player, and all was well in the world.

H&S report states ID10T sprained his knee when stepping over a network cable in room 123 at XYZ.

Bossman: Go find out what happened and let me know so I can deflect this to the ID10T error. (When is it NOT an ID10T error?!?!?!?)

DQ: Yeah, Meatball and ID10T were working on the computer and ID10T said he hurt himself.

DRC: Hey, what happened on this day when you were working on the computer in DQ’s room?

MB: That was the day I went in and started fixing the wiring in the room. ID10T decided he wanted to help so I asked him to connect this wire to the switch. Next thing I know he’s standing next to me saying he can’t move his knee.

MB: No he just came around but had to step over the network cable that was streched from the wall.

As a result ID10T, the BMW-driving, gucci-wearing, cross-eyed sperm-recepticle ends up off for a few days with a hyper-extended knee. 4 words:

By: Don Fraser - The St. Catharines Standard - 1/8/2008
dfraser@stcatharinesstandard.ca

The situation isn’t bad enough yet to make them cry in their beer.

However, a worldwide shortage of hops is forcing local brewers to spend more money on supplies and consider measures to cope with the growing problem.

"This already has affected us," said John Tiffin, The Merchant Ale House’s owner and brewer. "Some of our beers are quite hoppy. One hop variety, called fuggles, I can’t even get right now - it seems odd."

About 70 per cent of the beers sold at the downtown St. Catharines establishment are brewed in-house, such as popular quaffs Blonde Bombshell and Old Time Hockey Ale.

Tiffin makes up to four batches of beer each month, with each one producing 13 kegs.

Hops give the suds their bitter flavour and play other roles in the brewing process, such as adding complex tastes and aromas.

The price of hops has soared and the supply of some varieties is restricted, Tiffin said.

Other aromatic hops varieties the bar owner uses for India Pale Ale-style beers are now 3 1/2 times more expensive than they were early in 2007.

"I’ll maybe have to change some of the hops we use and redo some recipes," Tiffin said. "But the market itself doesn’t really know what is going to happen in the end. So far, we’re all right, and I’ve kept prices the same over Christmas," he said. "There’s going to be a small price raise across all the beers, but I’m going to see that coming ... from breweries as well."

There are four main regions that produce about 90 per cent of the world’s hops: Yakima Valley in Washington state, southern Germany, the United Kingdom and the Czech Republic.

Hail storms and other bad weather have stricken all four areas over the last two years.

Also, many farmers have switched to growing more lucrative products, such as corn, as the price of hops declined in recent years. A 2006 warehouse fire in Washington also wiped out a large hops supply.

With larger companies gobbling up the bulk of what’s left, microbreweries and other smaller outfits are struggling to get their hands on quality hops.

Just a few steps down St. Paul Street from The Merchant Ale House, Niagara’s Best Beer Ltd. is another local brewer struggling with the crop shortage.

"Oh yeah, (our price jump) happened on Nov. 1," business manager Lou Stranges said. "It was a major increase."

That’s when the price of hops for a 20-kilogram bag jumped to $900 from $400.

As the brewery will need about five or six bags per year, that amounts to a cost increase of at least $2,500.

Niagara’s Best beers include Niagara’s Best Blonde Premium Ale and Niagara’s Best Lager, which is a lower-priced lager.

"Our brands only require a smaller amount of hops," Stranges said. "Our product is not overly hopped, but there are microbreweries out there that are (adding hops) quite a bit," he said.

"Who knows what’s going to happen in a year’s time, because apparently, a lot of the hops crops are being changed over to corn."

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