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I’m Not as Think as you Drunk I am?
Posted: 2007-09-13 by Steve J

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.




Thanks Steve!
Posted: 2007-08-31 by Dr D

The purchases from the "Vending Machine" worked like a charm!




A Fucktool and His Data are Soon Parted...
Posted: 2007-08-30 by Mike G

A client recently suffered a hard drive failure in their primary NAS device. Fortunately for them, I had the foresight to setup a secondary NAS with an identical configuration, along with a nightly rsync script to replicate their data in case of such a situation. As a second level of redundancy, I wrote an additional script that replicated the data to an external 500GB USB drive for offsite storage. You'd think this would have covered all the bases?

Fucktool: Our network drive is down, and nobody can access their files.

Me: VPN in and check shit out...yup dead drive. Clickity click, flip over to backup NAS, change IP address....there you go, you should be able to access now.

Fucktool: Great just let me check.... Hmmm....we seem to be missing some files here??? This data is from June?!?!? OMG!! WTF?!?

Me: WTF? The NAS drives are supposed to be sync'ed every night? At most you should only be missing the changes from the past 12 hrs? I can check the external USB drive?

Fucktool: Can you restore them for us?

Me: Sure...I'll just VNC into the machine that runs the backup scripts and... [Connection Timed out] WTF?!?! Ping the backup machine.... Request timed out.  Uhm, is the backup server on?

Fucktool: Oh...I'll have to go turn the server on for you.

Me: Why is it off in the first place? Did you guys have a power failue or something?

Fucktool: No No.....that machine keeps beeping all the time, so we just turn it off?

Me: You what?!? How long has it been doing that?

Fucktool: Since May or June? I dunno...it was annoying so we just unplugged it.  

Clickity click....sure enough, backup files on both drives current as of June. You fucking retards!!!

Fucktool: Did you find our files yet?

Me: Yeah...sure. Go jump in front of a bus and maybe you'll see your files again in the netherworld!!!

ASS....




Tips for a Sucessful School Year
Posted: 2007-08-20 by Mike G




EDI Laffs, Gaffs and Blunders: n00b
Posted: 2007-08-20 by MikeB

Edition V3.7: n00b question ....

Customer Jihad: Pleasing to sending 997 acknowledgements with the quickness!

n00b: Hey Miike I don't see how the 997s are sent, but it shouldn't be too hard to setup something in SAP.

Me: Eh... that shit's sent automatically, withing 10 minutes of receipt.

n00b: Well we could use the existing process to send the status from SAP, develop an application that processes inbound.....

Me: Well seeing as how this is likely a form letter you received from Captain Goat Jockey, I wouldn't worry about it..

n00b: What I don't get is where the 52610 is from lol!

Me: That's how much they are over paying you by, and everybody is laughing.

n00b: *GULP* !!!

Me: Oy gevalt....




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