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Observations from the flip side
Posted: 2007-08-01 by The Wandering Techie

AAHH, Summer. A time when a young techie's fancy turns to vacations. Not mine, mind you. Other people.

It's especially nice when retards take vacation. Then their problems become other people's problems, not mine. But every now and then, the retard can be resourceful. And they assume that I care. Take for example the retard who just called:

Retard: I can't send any mail right now. I have to reply to this one email but all I get are errors

Me: OK. Start with the basics. Can you get surf the web.

Retard: Yup.

Me: Can you get mail?

Retard: Yup.

Me: But your mail is still in the outbox right?

Retard: Yup.

Me: Open up the tools menu, click on Accounts and read me what's in the SMTP area

Retard reads from all of the fields, not just the one I asked him to. Everything is setup the way it should be. 

Then you hear it in the background. "Cannonball!!!" Splash! Yahoo!!!

Me: Where are you right now?

Retard: Sitting by the pool at my hotel.

Me: Oh, really? Where's the hotel?

Retard: Mexico.

Me: Did you think to check with the hotel about any changes to your settings when you try to use the internet there?

Retard: Oh ya. They said something about setting your outbound mail server to this ip address and you might have to change some of the information elsewhere, but why would I do that? I mean, I'll only have to change it when I get home anyway? It really isn't that important, is it?

Me : Have a nice vacation. Try emailing from those big floating doughnuts in the center of the pool, I think it will work better from there. 




Cleavage: What’s Appropriate, What’s Not
Posted: 2007-07-28 by Mike G

How to Show Off Breasts Best in the Office, on the Town and Everywhere Else

From the beach to the mall to the office, women seem to be showing off their cleavage more than ever before. Why? According to Elisabeth Squires, author of "Boobs: A Guide to Your Girls," American breasts are getting bigger while shirts are getting smaller. ....Read Entire Article...



Summer Construction Season is Here
Posted: 2007-07-28 by Mike G

With the QEW widening underway, driving around the St. Catharines area is certainly going to suck for the next few years. As always, BHON recommends that everyone stay safe while on the roads this summer. Stay home and drink beer instead! Seriously, you'll be helping the environment while saving on gas, not to mention making my life easier as I don't have to contend with your dumb ass while I am trying to get around town doing my job. It's the least you can do!




America’s Got Talent!
Posted: 2007-07-28 by Mike G




EDI Laffs, Gaffs and Blunders: Fucktard
Posted: 2007-07-25 by MikeB

Edition V3.6: Operation Fucktard ....

Fucktard: Hey we need some new EDI documents mapped, lol are they done yet?

Me: Well, I need a few details, like what fucking document, who's the fucking partner, what's it being mapped to, and is fucking inbound or fucking outbound?

Fucktard: Lol i dunno, is it done yet?

Me: Ok, listen here shithead, I need the partners document specifications, and the target document specs.

Fucktard: lol ok here they are.

Me: Well, you've sent me a photograph of your wife and kids, how nice, I could use the specifications.

Fucktard: Are they done yet? lol

Me: About as ready as your wife's camel toe in that picture you sent instead of the SPECS!

Fucktard: lol here are the specs, now are they done?

Me: Well, seeing as how you are mapping a ridiculously simple EDI document to a customized version of the most complex Idoc - it's going to take quite a while, as we are not currently processing this Idoc.

Fucktard: lol will it be done tomorrow?

Me: *throws a noose over a rafter in the garage*




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