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BHON Gets Reviewed - Exclusive!
Posted: 2002-07-01 by Mike B

BHON gets reviewed - an Internet exclusive!
Hear what the waitresses have to say about BHON! Through investigative reporting (eavesdropping) BHON has collected unsolicited statements from some of the fine and not so fine wing establishments.

  • Amy - Mystic Jack's: They were super nice, but they took off before I got a chance to show them my tits! I ran out into the parking lot topless, and they were gone. :(
  • Sarah - YNot Again: They were a swell bunch, was odd that they had sex with the towel holder. Why does everyone spit on those guys, they were nice to me!
  • Cindy - Boston Pizza: Oh my god! I gave them the bill from that baseball team! They only owed $84! Come on back for the $180 refund we owe you guys!
  • Luanne - Regal Begal: Cripe, the big A-hole wouldn't shut up about the damn chair! "Git outta my chair", the whole damn night.
  • Sia - Hallet's: Right, well, they was kynda loud right, nice chaps they was, and me boss is a fucking weirdo!
  • Melissa - Ricki Jo's: Fuck, they take more pictures than National Geographic!
  • Jenny - Relax Bar: BHON who? Who the fuck is he? Is he here? Where's he at? MAMMA! Who's BHON?
  • Mamma - Relax Bar: BHON, WHO'S HE WANNA BE? TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF!
  • Petra - Player's: Great guys, and the grey-haired handsome devil who paid was cute! Looked at my ass all night, made me horny!
  • Nancy - Romby's: Oh Jesus, look at the puke on the sidewalk. Fuck, look in the shitter! Someone set us up the spaghetti bomb.
  • Marianne - Scorecard Harry: Fuck, the big guy touches me again he get's knifed!
  • Elizabeth - The Rex: These guys must be loaded, no bicycles, and they all have cars!
  • Connie - Cheers: What's with the pbbbt sound? The fucking carpet was soaked from that crap.
  • Mary - Cracker Jacks: Thought they'd never leave, they sure got the hint when the vacuuming started though.
  • Tammy - Honey's: Sonofabitch! Someone pissed all over the place! Huh, some hippie fixed the toilet.




  • Semen Makes Women Happy - Study Claims
    Posted: 2002-07-01 by Mike G

    Raj Persaud
    SPECIAL TO THE STAR

    Semen makes you happy. That's the conclusion of a study comparing women whose partners wear condoms with those whose partners don't.

    The study showed women who were directly exposed to semen were less depressed. Researchers think this is because mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina. They say they've ruled out other explanations.

    "I want to make it clear that we are not advocating that people abstain from using condoms," says psychologist Gordon Gallup of the State University of New York.

    He led the team that divided 293 female students into groups depending on how often their partners wore condoms, and assessed their happiness using the Beck Depression Inventory, a standard questionnaire for assessing mood. People who score over 17 are considered moderately depressed.

    The team found women whose partners never used condoms scored eight on average, those who sometimes used them scored 10.5, those who usually used them scored 15 and those who always used them scored 11.3. Women not having any sex scored 13.5. Gallup said his team already has unpublished data from a group of 700 women confirming the always-use group was more depressed than the usually use group, suggesting the discrepancy in the smaller study was a sampling error.

    The team also found depressive symptoms and suicide attempts more common among women who used condoms regularly compared with those who didn't. The results will appear in the journal Archives of Sexual Behavior.

    But is it really semen that affects women's mood? Researchers say they looked at alternative explanations, such as whether women who seldom use condoms took oral contraceptives, how often they had sex, the strength of relationships, and the possibility a certain type of personality influenced the decision to use condoms. But none of these factors can explain their findings, they say.

    NEW SCIENTIST



    Long Distance Breast Exams!
    Posted: 2002-06-28 by Mike B

    Four women have contacted police after being
    persuaded to stand topless in their windows or
    balconies so that a satellite could give them
    a mammogram.

    The women, aged between 19 and 45, living in the
    Algarve, southern Portugal, were all contacted by
    telephone by a woman claiming to be a doctor.

    She told them that a revolutionary method had been
    developed of conducting breast examinations by satellite.
    They were told that the consultation would be free if they
    followed instructions by stripping to the waist and standing
    in view of the satellite.

    One woman was so trusting that she took off all her clothes
    for the "examination".

    Later, the women were telephoned with the alleged results
    of the examinations. The woman claiming to be a doctor then
    told them of her sexual desires in graphic detail.

    Editor: Fuuuuuuuck! Hey Ladies, I give tonsilectomy's with my cock.



    BHON World Cup Report 2002
    Posted: 2002-06-20 by Mike B


    Well, the hockey season is over and once again we at BHON find ourselves hanging our heads over the fate of our beloved Toronto Maple leafs. What's a poor Canadian boy to do post-hockey? Oh...Soccer is on! Woo-Fucking-Hoo! Go Tomats! Makes me wanna go cruise in my IROC...and don't forget the flag! Oh wait...the Korean's beat everyone this year? Now that's funny!



    Fags...





    Robin and Sandy bring us a BHON Baby!
    Posted: 2002-03-15 by Derek H

    LINK



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