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2009-07-16
Vickie: Okay enough talk about yeast infections. Let's not go there. If you guys could get a yeast infection, you'd want to chop your cock off and scratch the hell out of the stump.
2009-06-05
Waitress at the Duck: I have to get off the crack!
Derek J: Did she say she wants to get off the cock?
Mike G: She said she wants to get your cock off.
2009-06-05
Waitress at the Duck: Would you guys like anything else?
Jones: I’d like some hot ass!
Waitress: We serve that here? All I see is old sausage!
2009-06-05
Sheldon: I didn't realize these would be so huge. I thought I ordered potato skins?
Jones: What the hell are those? Ostrich testicles???
Mike G: ...and if you take 2 away, you'd have four skins!!!
2009-04-09
Derek J: To waitress "Hey, where’s my free keychain?"
Waitress: Oh sorry, we don’t have any more.
Derek J: That’s okay. I was only going to give it to my father who’s dying of cancer...
Waitress: Oh for Christ sake....
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