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"I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer."
-- Homer Simpson --
IMPORTANT!!! DATE CHANGE NOTICE!!!
New Record!! Most postponements on an Event!
We call ourselves Bar Hoppers of Niagara. Let’s see how many members are willing to live up to that title! Our next event will be a road trip to the westernmost edge of our namesake region for our first ever Grimsby Pub Crawl!
Take the QEW to the Maple/Ontario/Christie Exit. Head South on Ontario Street until you hit Main. There is a large municipal parking lot off Ontario just before you reach Main Street, in behind the bars we will be visiting. Of course you can always parallel park on the street if that’s your thing.
8:00PM - Teddy’s Sports Bar - 30 Main Street West.
A Grimsby landmark that’s been there since the 1960’s! No Guinness on tap, but 69 cent wings on Thursday’s makes this one worth a visit.
9:00PM - The Forty Public House - 10 Main Street West.
A Brand new bar promising a focus on local craft beers.
10:00PM - The Judge & Jester - 17 Main Street East.
A classic irish bar offering $5.99 Guinness pints on Thursday’s makes this the ideal spot to finish off the evening.
Times are subject to change, especially if one of the places is shit! Hope to see you all there. Carpool options TBD later on etc.
Update 3/23/16 - Due to the possibility of freezing rain fucking up our roadtrip, the emergency backup spot has been selected as the Celtic Club. Keep your ears open to the weather reports - if it’s shit, we jumping ship.
Update 3/24/16 - It’s miserable and crappy out, so we’ve decided to postpone this event for two weeks. Note the new data above and see you on Thursday, April 7th April 21st!!!
Update 4/5/16 - OK, so Mother Nature is a psychotic bitch and decided to fuck with us some more. More snow and crappy weather in the forecast for this week. Maybe Mother Nature has something against us visiting Grimsby? Or maybe she just hates Grimsby in general? Either way, we will postpone our pub crawl one more time. Perhaps in another two weeks the weather will decide to co-operate. So, as a backup spot - Bugsy’s! Can’t go wrong with the sole remaining 100% club member.
Update 4/20/16 - Grimsby Pub crawl has been postponed to May 5, due to one or more BHON members having injured themsleves during recent sexual acts. We felt that a Pub Crawl would be too uncomfortable. Due to sensitivty to the nature of the injuries, details will not be shared online, but hope your balls are feeling better by Thursday Mike.
Update 5/4/16 - Grimsby Pub crawl has to be postponed again to May 19th. Due to a fire ban in effect, the township of Grimsby will no longer allow non-residents entrance to the city. Guess they are showing support for Fort McMurray. Instead, we’ve decided to show our solidarity by re-visiting a place that has already burned to the ground once. This week’s BHON night will take place at The Reeb House!
(Reuters Health - 22 April, 2016) - Men who ejaculate often may have a lower risk of prostate cancer than their peers who don’t do it as frequently, a U.S. study suggests.
Researchers followed about 32,000 men starting in 1992 when they were in their 20s and continuing through 2010. During this period, almost 4,000 of the men were diagnosed with prostate cancer.
Men who ejaculated at least 21 times a month in their 20s were 19 percent less likely to be diagnosed with prostate cancer than men who ejaculated no more than seven times a month, the study found. Men who ejaculated more often in their 40s were 22 percent less likely to get a prostate cancer diagnosis.
“Ejaculation frequency is, to some extent, a measure of overall health status in that men at the very low end of ejaculation – 0 to 3 times per month – were more likely to have other (medical problems) and die prematurely from causes other than prostate cancer,” said lead study author Jennifer Rider, who did the analysis while working at the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health in Boston.
“While our findings should be confirmed in studies that evaluate the potential biological mechanisms underlying the observed associations, the results of our study suggest that ejaculation and safe sexual activity throughout adulthood could be a beneficial strategy for reducing the risk of prostate cancer,” Rider, now at Boston University, added by email.
Prostate cancer accounts for 15 percent of all new cancer diagnoses worldwide, the researchers note in the journal European Urology.
Editor’ Note: Apparently I have a lot of catching up to do. See you in a month!
Waitress: How are those wings? Nice and hot?
Derek J: Yeah, you definately shouldn’t touch your vagina after handling these.
Waitress: Thanks, I’ll remember not to diddle myself tonight!
|This month we feature the hourglass figured Christina Hendricks. Currently gracing the TV show Mad Men, I think we can see why the men are all going mad about her. She gets two months due to her large acheivements.
- March - 2016: TJ’s Sports Bar, St. Catharines
- March - 2016: St. Louis Bar & Grill, St. Catharines
- March - 2016: Olle’s Ale House, St. Catharines
- February - 2016: Hooligan’s Sports Bar, Niagara Falls
- January - 2016: Christina’s, St Catharines
- October - 2015: The Bull Market, Niagara Falls
- August - 2015: Howe Sound Brewing, Squamish, BC
- August - 2015: Darby’s Public House, Vancouver, BC
- May - 2015: The Queen’s Guard Pub v2, Niagara Falls
- May - 2015: Iggy’s Pub & Grub, Fonthill
BHON Events History
|May 19th, 2016||BHON Grimsby Pub Crawl #1||Teddy’s Sports Bar||30 Main Street W||Municipal lot off Ontario Street|
|May 19th, 2016||BHON Grimsby Pub Crawl #2||The Forty Public House||10 Main Street W||Municipal lot off Ontario Street|
|May 19th, 2016||BHON Grimsby Pub Crawl #3||The Judge & Jester||17 Main Street E||Municipal lot off Ontario Street|
The Weasel: For finally fucking off. (Note this award is to be
a permanent fixture)
Rick: Do you have any dark beer other than Guinness?
Waitress: Uhhh Guinness?
Derek J: On the subject of raising kids... Everybody can fuck and most people shouldn’t.
Mike B: He died of Smallcox.
Chris: No I think it was Dicktheria?
Derek J: There’s a vaccine for that!
Steve: Yeah, it’s penis cillin!
Peter Pan: I’m sorry these took so long to pour, it was a nightmare! I didn’t want to give you guys too much head!
Mike B: That ain’t a roundabout, that’s a fuckaround!
DBSP: Drunken Bar Slob Percentile - method for rating wingery
CPU: Defined as a Continuing Poultry Unit - 10 mild or 2 "911" hot
EVFL: Environmental Flatulance Level - 2 part - sound/scent
ROFAR: Ring of Fire Alarm Rating - 4 alarm - very hot
SAF: Sauce Adhesion Factor - 1:1 is optimal
TAVAR: T+A Value Added Resource - The "view" helps the score.
PBBBBT!: Nude female skydiver sound effect. No whistle.
EVOG: Early Victim of Gravity.
DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend.
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