Chicken Wings
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Wild Wing
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Y-Not Again


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Wheel Of WINGS!





Wheel Of PBBBBT!







I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?." He said, "No, just taking a shit."
-- Anonymous --

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT:

The Road to Recovery, Or the Beginning of the Decline?

Well here we are heading into August 2022. Inflation is reaching record highs, prices for goods and services are going through the roof, the cost of living is going up, but I certainly see no rise in my paycheck!

It seems we managed to get through the COVID lockdowns unscathed health-wise, but now we are paying the price for our worldwide government’s bumbling ways. Our economy is fucked. Our supply chains are fucked. Don’t even get me started on air-travel!

It seems every industry is looking for workers, but somehow there isn’t anyone available to work and I don’t see the shit-show ending anytime soon.

That trickles down, right to the heart of BHON! Let’s talk about the state of the beer and wing world for a minute...

This editorial is not a condemnation of any place in particular. More an overview of a trend we are seeing across the board lately.

Over the last few months, we’ve been trying to get back into our old routine of patronizing our regular establishments while occasionally throwing a new spot into the rotation. Sadly, the after-effects of the pandemic are still widely evident in the restaurant and food-service industry.

First off - while many of our favourite bars managed to make it through the pandemic, they did so at a great cost. Many lost most, if not all of their serving and kitchen staff, leaving them to rebuild in an industry where those willing to work are in short supply. Add in the higher food costs and overhead and we are finding many places struggling to fill seats.

Prices are up, portion sizes have gone down, service levels have deteriorated and food quality has suffered at MANY places we’ve been to post-covid. The scrawny, overpriced wings we’ve been experiencing are evidence of cost-cutting while overcooked and drowned in sauce wings are evidence of inexperienced staff in the kitchen. Despite our desire to support all of our local pubs, these experiences make us less likely to want to return anytime soon.

Second - although we would like to expand our repertoire and check out some new spots, there seems to be only a shrinking pool of places to go. Of course nobody in their right mind would choose to open a restaurant in the middle of the pandemic, but even the list of established businesses going up for sale recently points to an industry in a state of decline. The chances of picking a new spot out of the blue and having it suck are particularly high.

So what’s the solution? What can we do to reverse this trend?

Well I can’t claim to have any experience running a food-service establishment, but from a long-time patron - here’s what we at BHON have come to appreciate:

Wings: - go for quality over quantity. Buy the good stuff. Even if we have to pay a little more, we want the big, plump, juicy wings, not the scrawny leftovers.

Preparation: - it’s not rocket science to toss wings in a deep fryer, but please use fresh oil and cook them right. The perfect wing should have a crisp skin but still be juicy inside, without visible blood!

Staff: - if you have a particularly good server/bartender/cook, do what you can to try and keep them around. Anyone who takes pride in their job is an asset who’s attitude trickles down to the patrons. We can tell when the overcooked wings come out, slopped in sauce were prepared by kitchen staff that didn’t give a fuck. Even more-so when they are tossed on the table by a server who also doesn’t give a fuck. Maybe this is more an indictment of the available workforce these days than anything else?

In the end, all we really want is a night out with our friends in a familiar fun environment. We want to enjoy our colleagues company and feel the energy of those around us who are indulging in the same. A few cold beers and a few hot wings and a little decadence we don’t tend to prepare for ourselves at home. And at the end of the evening, at a cost that was not unaffordable.

Finally, we would like for ALL of our favourite establishments to thrive and survive. It would be great to be able to walk into ANY restaurant and be able to expect a certain level of quality and not have it be a roll of the dice as to whether it will suck.

Can we really get back to that point?

I sure hope so!

On the bright side, there are a few spots that have managed to buck this downhill trend and have still managed to provide the same level of greatness they had pre-covid. We think they know who they are....

MG - July 2022.

 



BHON Random Pics and Quotables du Jour!

Derek J: Did I ever tell you I never liked you?




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Wing Awards:

  • The Weasel: For finally fucking off. (Note this award is to be a permanent fixture)



    Wing Slams:




    Quotables:

    Steve: When it gets hard it expands then it hits the back of your throat and you start gagging...

    DerekJ: Pre-suffering. A unique two wing chemical reaction where the suicide wing does not taste hot, until the lower heat rated wing is consumed, then the suffering commences.

    Derek: Yeah I’d offer sound advice to whomever requires it.

    Rick: Do you have any dark beer other than Guinness?
    Waitress: Uhhh Guinness?

    Derek J: On the subject of raising kids... Everybody can fuck and most people shouldn’t.



    Wing Terms:

    DBSP: Drunken Bar Slob Percentile - method for rating wingery
    CPU: Defined as a Continuing Poultry Unit - 10 mild or 2 "911" hot
    EVFL: Environmental Flatulance Level - 2 part - sound/scent
    ROFAR: Ring of Fire Alarm Rating - 4 alarm - very hot
    SAF: Sauce Adhesion Factor - 1:1 is optimal
    TAVAR: T+A Value Added Resource - The "view" helps the score.
    PBBBBT!: Nude female skydiver sound effect. No whistle.
    EVOG: Early Victim of Gravity.
    DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend.




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    BHON Wing News

    Feast on crispy chicken wings at 7 essential eateries in Houston - 365 Things...
    Posted: 12 Aug 2022 at 7:00am
    Feast on crispy chicken wings at 7 essential eateries in Houston  365 Things to Do in Houston


    For the Crispiest Grilled Chicken Wings, Add This Humble Pantry Staple - The ...
    Posted: 11 Aug 2022 at 10:00am
    For the Crispiest Grilled Chicken Wings, Add This Humble Pantry Staple  The Kitchn


    National Chicken Wing Day: Three men enter, one wing-eating champion emerges ...
    Posted: 29 Jul 2022 at 3:00am
    National Chicken Wing Day: Three men enter, one wing-eating champion emerges  KTVH


    Sorry, Chick-fil-A isn't adding chicken wings to its menu - WATTAgNet Industr...
    Posted: 12 Aug 2022 at 1:38pm
    Sorry, Chick-fil-A isn't adding chicken wings to its menu  WATTAgNet Industry News & Trends


    Are Chicken Wings Healthy and Nutritious? - stack - STACK
    Posted: 11 Aug 2022 at 2:09pm
    Are Chicken Wings Healthy and Nutritious? - stack  STACK


    Nail Crispy Chicken Wings Every Time – Garden & Gun - Garden & Gun
    Posted: 28 Jul 2022 at 3:00am
    Nail Crispy Chicken Wings Every Time – Garden & Gun  Garden & Gun


    Chicken Wings Fall From Favor as Consumers Start to Trade Down - Bloomberg
    Posted: 28 Jul 2022 at 3:00am
    Chicken Wings Fall From Favor as Consumers Start to Trade Down  Bloomberg


    Drummette or flat? Americans reveal their chicken wing preferences - digitalh...
    Posted: 26 Jul 2022 at 8:00am
    Drummette or flat? Americans reveal their chicken wing preferences - digitalhub US  SWNS Digital


    Meet the American who invented Buffalo wings and disrupted the entire chicken...
    Posted: 22 Jul 2022 at 3:00am
    Meet the American who invented Buffalo wings and disrupted the entire chicken industry  New York Post


    The Hudson Valley is the Best Place in New York to Get Chicken Wings - WRRV
    Posted: 8 Aug 2022 at 10:00am
    The Hudson Valley is the Best Place in New York to Get Chicken Wings  WRRV



    BHON Beer News

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    Vice Beer brings nostalgia, fun and ‘2 extremes’ of beer styles to Vancouver  OregonLive


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    Posted: 13 Aug 2022 at 6:00am
    Mexico's president proposes ban on beer brewing as drought intensifies  Financial TimesCorona Beer Maker Says Drought-Stricken Mexico Supports Its Brewery  BloombergMexican President Wants to Stop ...


    Enjoy A Cult Beer...And Get Paid $10,000 To Watch A Sunset With That Beer In ...
    Posted: 12 Aug 2022 at 11:40am
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    Rewind Beer Co. is opening in Port Moody's Brewery Row soon | Dished - Daily ...
    Posted: 9 Aug 2022 at 5:51pm
    Rewind Beer Co. is opening in Port Moody's Brewery Row soon | Dished  Daily Hive


    Roundhouse Craft Beer Festival returns to Toronto this weekend | Dished - Dai...
    Posted: 12 Aug 2022 at 3:30pm
    Roundhouse Craft Beer Festival returns to Toronto this weekend | Dished  Daily Hive


    Niagara College student brewers bringing unique craft creations to their Carn...
    Posted: 11 Aug 2022 at 1:58pm
    Niagara College student brewers bringing unique craft creations to their CarnivALE Beer Fest Saturday | inNiagaraRegion  insauga.com


    THE WRAP: Office weed, forests untreed and the Keefe clan convenes over beer ...
    Posted: 13 Aug 2022 at 9:08am
    THE WRAP: Office weed, forests untreed and the Keefe clan convenes over beer  Saltwire


    Portland Brewer Invents New Style Of Craft Beer - Forbes
    Posted: 5 Aug 2022 at 3:00am
    Portland Brewer Invents New Style Of Craft Beer  Forbes


    Ignored By Neighbouring Provinces, N.B. Brewer Enters Prairie Beer Market - c...
    Posted: 9 Aug 2022 at 9:57am
    Ignored By Neighbouring Provinces, N.B. Brewer Enters Prairie Beer Market  country94.ca


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    Posted: 12 Aug 2022 at 5:17pm
    Celebrate National Roller Coaster Day and Complete the Coaster Challenge + Craft Beer Festival  KPBS



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