I was walking through the cemetery this morning and saw a guy crouching down behind a tombstone. I said, "Mourning?." He said, "No, just taking a shit."
-- Anonymous --
BHON Grimsby Pub Crawl 2017!
Hey folks! Since Grimsby Pub Crawl 2016 was such a raging success, we’ve decided to try another one! Join us Thursday, October 19th, 2017 for another round of beers and wings in Niagara’s Westernmost municipality!
Update: Oct 19, 2017 - Fuck, Steve has a scrotum waxing appointment for his anniversary and cannot make it in time for an out of town BHON night. So, we have decided on a clubhouse night at Mike B’s instead. Oh well, this event is starting out as to be expected!
Update: Nov 2, 2017 - After drinking tainted vagina beer and OD’ing on halloween candy, we’ve decided to keep it local again. Trying out a new spot in an old location, Bezo’s Bar & Grill in the former Overtime Pub’s location on Front Street it Thorold.
Update: Nov 16, 2017 - We are actually going!
BHON Random Pics and Quotables du Jour!
Derek: New wing terminology - TOMORROWFAR!!!
BHON.NET Site News:
THE WORLD’S FIRST VAGINA BEER HAS ARRIVED
If there are two things men love in this world, make no mistake: they are beer and vaginas.
But up until now, you’ve had to choose, because it’s physically impossible to enjoy both without making a mess.
Gentlemen, let us introduce you to the Order of Yoni. The first brewing company that produces beer from vaginas. Yes, you read that correctly.
This beer is partially made from the essence of a woman’s vagina, or better known as vaginal lactic acid bacteria. The first batch of beer, which probably we won’t be tasting because we don’t live in Europe, is being made from lactic acid bacteria of a smoking hot Czech model, Alexandra Brendlova.
“We were looking for an inspiration, a model who is both beautiful, charming girl and intelligent, eloquent woman,” Wojtek Mann, the founder of the company, told Maxim. “I really appreciate her way of speaking, and I find her body language, the way she walks, very sexual.”
But before you go stockpiling, there some financial aspects that remain unsolved. Order of Yoni’s InieGoGo page has risen only €279 out of €150,000 goal.
If you decide to donate, Mann offers you to taste your own girlfriend only for €10,000. You’ll get a voucher for 60 bottles of beer produced on your girlfriend’s vaginal bacteria.
We’ve got our fair share of skepticism of how that would actually taste, but hey. It’s your call.
The Weasel: For finally fucking off. (Note this award is to be
a permanent fixture)
Derek: Yeah I’d fuck his mouth.
Rick: Do you have any dark beer other than Guinness? Waitress: Uhhh Guinness?
Derek J: On the subject of raising kids... Everybody can fuck and most people shouldn’t.
Mike B: He died of Smallcox. Chris: No I think it was Dicktheria? Derek J: There’s a vaccine for that! Steve: Yeah, it’s penis cillin!
Peter Pan: I’m sorry these took so long to pour, it was a nightmare! I didn’t want to give you guys too much head!
DBSP: Drunken Bar Slob Percentile - method for rating wingery CPU: Defined as a Continuing Poultry Unit - 10 mild or 2 "911" hot EVFL: Environmental Flatulance Level - 2 part - sound/scent ROFAR: Ring of Fire Alarm Rating - 4 alarm - very hot SAF: Sauce Adhesion Factor - 1:1 is optimal TAVAR: T+A Value Added Resource - The "view" helps the score. PBBBBT!: Nude female skydiver sound effect. No whistle. EVOG: Early Victim of Gravity. DUFF: Designated Ugly Fat Friend.
BHON 1996 -
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If it looks like crap, please upgrade your ghetto-ass computer!
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